sábado, junio 09, 2007

Gracias, pero ya agrandé mi pene

No quiero tenerla más larga! Por favor, no me manden más spams ofreciéndome productos para alargarla 1, 2 o 3 inches! Me sobresalta recibir mails titulados "Emeline, enlarge your penis" o "Ememex, get a harder erection".
Alguien sabe en qué consiste ese negocio? Quién se beneficia? Quién vende? Quién compra?
Yo recibo entre 200 y 300 todos los días en mi dirección de arnet. Tuve que abrir una en yahoo para poder leer mi correo porque es prácticamente imposible desmalezar de entre los spams los correos buenos en menos de una hora.
Me alucina pensar que mientras duermo hay millones de tipos mandando mails a mi dirección con sutiles deformaciones de mi nombre como para agarrarme distraída. A la mañana encuentro sus pilas de basura despachada en horarios nocturnos. No duermen? Viven en las antípodas y duermen cuando yo estoy despierta? Esperan que me vaya a dormir para atiborrarme con sus productos para impotentes?
El tema recurrente en todos es la garcha y los remedios. Me proponen diez veces por día que agrande mi pene, que se me pare más dura, que se me alargue 10 cms, que aumente el volumen de mi eyaculación hasta 300 ml por acabada, que las vuelva locas cogiendo sin parar durante toda la noche, y después me ofrecen Viagra y algo llamado Cialis y pastillas excitantes, sedantes, somníferos, desintoxicantes y sustancias nutrientes especiales para la chota.
Sean quienes sean los que trabajan de eso, los odio. Me los imagino meneándosela mientras teclean, manipulando el mouse con los dedos pringosos, yéndose a dormir satisfechos cuando yo me despierto.

Por cada 20 de esos, llegan dos spams que ofrecen réplicas de relojes y de perfumes y uno que ofrece enciclopedias en Cds.
El mundo es así? A nadie se le para? A todos se les para blanda? Todos la tienen cortita?
Y alguien compra por internet elongadores de pene? Díganme que no, por favor, que me deprimo.

93 comentarios:

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Crab dijo...

Poné filtros para spam, MM.

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Eso Ememe. contra los PP (pateticos pajeros) un filtro que te mande a la basura todos los correos que contengan las palabras penis, enlargement, viagra o cialis, ayudara.

Animo.

Igual hay que saber que es un problema que nadie sabe resolver. Yo desgraciadamente cambio seguido de mail porque como que no hay forma de prevenir.

ememe dijo...

Puse el antispam de arnet y mandó todos los correos al tacho. Entendió que todos eran spams menos uno o dos. Lo desactivé.
Antes había comprado el Mailwasher, al que hay que instruír para que reconozca cuáles son spams. Pero los que los mandan modifican un punto, un espacio, una letra y vuelven a colarse poque el programa ya no los identifica. Mailwasher me avisó hace unos meses que tenía colmada la memoria de spams, asi que mejor no le avisara de ninguno más. Mi técnico me puso otro filtro que tampoco resultó. Es así, Crab, no hay solución.

Minerva dijo...

MM, los que le llegan ya está, no hay solución, le van a seguir llegando. PERO la mejor manera de prevenir es no andar dejando el mail por ahí, a la vista en Internet, para que no lo levanten los mandadores de spam. O tener otro alternativo para que no te importe si se llena de porquerías.

Ana F. dijo...

pasate a gmail. el spam va directo a "trash" y se llena pero tu bandeja de entrada no.
el mundo es así, lleno de pajeros enganchados con cordón unmbilical a computadoras, y con complejo de edipo. lucrar con el sexo es el último grito desgarrador de la "civilización"

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Estoy cansado del spam. Todavia no encuentro una solucion favorable. En la fabrica me llegan unos 40 por dia. Te hacen perder un tiempo increible.

No se les puede devolver el mail con algun tipo de virus?

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fersebal,
sería buenísimo contagiarles un virus y reenviarlos abichados. Qué buena idea.

EmmaPeel dijo...

Abichamiento para los spam! buena idea

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Respuesta automática para esos remitentes: I don't want to enlarge my penis, I want a Chattanooga Vibrator!

Algo que odio tanto como los spam son los mails de conocidos que mandan presentaciones ñoñas en powerpoint. A todos ellos, cada vez que me mandan uno de estos mails respondo con el siguiente texto: por cada mail con una presentación powerpoint que me mandes, vas a recibir de mi parte el virus más destructor que jamás hayas imaginado. Te prometo que nunca vas a volver a olvidar que detesto las presentaciones en powerpoint.

Ahora estoy trabajando en la creación del virus que parece insisten en querer ganarse.

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Algunas no son ñoñas son ñoñisimas

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Yo borro todo mail con el prefijo Fw., sea o no de alguien que conozca.

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adhiero a ana f.
gmail es estupendo. cada tanto se cuela algún spam, pero casi nada. del resto, ni te enterás.

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